“Dark’s fading slowly, but it never sustains”.
Yesterday my night was shadowed
Constant flashbacks from my old memories
Confusing steps that drive my blackened mind
Allowing fearful sadness to rise again
I don’t feel that I enjoy anymore
Right in my eyes… Save my bright
And what if it’s ending or it’s not?
And what if the walls turn to glass?
Will somebody find its essence?
Painted world full of lies
Will we find hope in our days?
Trying to run as we stay below
Strange image produced by my mind
Uncanny sights upon a lifeless soul
And four years of a life where I’m alone
Sharing moments with the loneliest thoughts
I’m a hollow body that I must carry
Right in our eyes… Deep lament
And what if it’s ending or it’s not?
And what if the walls turn to glass?
Will somebody find its essence?
Painted world full of lies
Will we find hope in our days?
Trying to run as I lie below
(Can’t find… Can’t accede…)
I never learnt how to change
What am I gonna do?
(“Why did she do this to me?”)
The first dream I had of her was a marvellous rush of happiness
But then time passed
Every time I saw her smile, a storm veil began
If only she would disappear from my mind…
Knife in my hand, could this be the God that humankind was talking?
I will engross her vitality in my dreams
(Running out of time, sweet desire of ending a life)
{Hand it over}
{Feeling all this pain}
{Tomorrow won’t be the same}
{There’s no danger}
{If I’d only}
{You can’t kill her}
{Mercy for the poor}
{Yes, indeed}
{Returning to the ocean of being}
{Today is the day}
{Life is brilliant, they say}
{I’ll dream again}
{To seek my very own sun}
{Non-stop renounce}
{This fight won’t achieve anything}
{They can’t take it all}
{Three were there}
{No empathy left}
{Please, stop}
{There’s no need for anything}
[Surely you have seen for yourself the pain and suffering that fills this world…]
You fool, don’t you understand that no one wishes to go on?
I am the desire for a heinous act and everything is in your hands
“The child awakens to a vacant existence. Unable to take the step, he endures one more day out of cowardice; indefinitely. In stillness. Each night he dreams of what he does not have, reaching a point of unhealthy obsession; embracing the despair of trying to resolve what troubles him.”
In the story, this is the part where the protagonist fantasizes about killing her in his dreams in order to avoid dreaming about her again. But what if he were to go beyond that, for once and for all?
As I already said, I felt no motivation to exist or to see another day. I wanted to die, but I never dared to do anything out of fear of hurting myself. I saw that living was not worth it because of the suffering it entailed. Happiness did not justify the pain.
During these episodes, things held no value. One of the worst crises led me to think about finishing this composition and apologizing, and then killing myself.
Damnation was a great support for me when depression overwhelmed me. The fact that it felt so cold and gray was what comforted me. It is a unique album.
Obviously, a special mention to FromSoftware and their works; for this set of references and all the previous ones to this song. These games have meant a lot to me, and I still can't get enough of them.