“We’ve got to stop his game before madness has the final laugh”.
Jaundiced but full of determination
I can’t contain my thoughts anymore
I feel that everything is lost
Now it is your time to ride my hate
Hopefully no one will know
Hopefully no one will stop me
An urge that came through my dreams
To never get away
Every stem is filled with anger
It will eventually reach you
This time you won’t run away from me
Hopefully no one stops me
Hopefully no one will know
[Hopefully you’re alone as I was]
Both of you left me fighting a binding with spikes on its walls
Behind my eyes
Life in my hand, will this be the God that humankind was talking?
I will engross your vitality
We’ll spread their sins
Trust I had in you
Meaning of all you were
I’ll spread their sins, I’ll spread sin
These reasons I’ve found
I’m not going to listen to any of your words
I’ll spread their sins…
(You’ll receive this from me)
What will you think?
When will you appear?
Something tells me I’d better not want to know
Weren’t you expecting something all this time?
I don’t want to know
There’s got to be a reason, for sure
Temptations and nightmares are crying for me
To end all this battle, with you, this can’t be
Why do I feel that I owe you something?
I spread sin
[It’s finally time; I did it… Blood filled the voids of my existence…
Do you feel the weight of their sins? Because I do]
Life in my hand, could this be the God that humankind was talking?
I have engrossed your vitality
[Far away I could be… I wish I had thought twice…]
What is wrong with me?
“The child searches for the girl as he questions his decision to put an end to her miserable existence. Night falls, and with a knife in hand, he finds her. Hidden from the world.”
He looks for She, and he finds her. He projects all of the wrong that he’s ever received. But after stabbing her, he immediately doubts what he has just done.
I won’t comment much on this. Only to say that back then, I would eventually let the real girl know about the existence of this work. I hesitated, since we were not on bad terms, but something remained unresolved with her. It was the constant need to “get these doubts off my chest,” while also being afraid of hurting or bothering her again. So the song became a reflection of how I felt about meeting her to communicate all of these things.
Yet recently, this song became something very painful. Guilt. Hurting someone who has hurt you is nothing more than a blind attempt to regain control, but deep down what lies beneath is fear. Though the truth is that sometimes you just hurt others, with no possible justification.
The piano and the crying are not my performances, but I did record them.
Operation: Mindcrime was one of the works that motivated me to write songs about murder. At first, it was just a fun idea; later on, I found it distressing.