"In blood, he's writing the lyrics of a brand new tune".
Shining above, your stare marks my essence
Laughs across my mind slowly energizing my reign
A long time without your breath can’t keep me sane
I seek for you in the look for a safe place
So, I lost your presence, out of my sight
I’m far away, walls torn down once again
Can’t you see my essence high in the clouds?
My stare, a blind stare that reached the madness
No intentions through. Only a bad move
This lack of affection guided my perception
Climbing the clouds, a paradise never ceased
So, I lost your presence, out of my sight
You’re far away, thin walls torn down once again
Can’t you see my essence sinking deeper? [And deeper]
You’ve been far away
You ran from me
I lifted the pillars for you
I don’t even need you
But where are you hiding?
Getting closer. I face the broken walls
Who would ever think that I would?
The path to my peace was lost
And who would be able to bring it back?
You guided each step, and for sure this was the last one
I’m realizing what I have done through my sickness
The balance that once held my cries is gone
No turning back. Now I’m scared, I can’t carry on…
Shining before my eyes, the sun stayed for a long time
So why? My sun no longer shined
A behaviour founded behind the rushing skies
Why? My sun no longer shined
I’m so scared to achieve the truth
Did I drown all her fate because the key to my peace was lost?
Control lost
Essence rusted
I’ll fly away to rest
[What will happen now? I’ll put the day to sleep again]
Out of me I am
Prisoner I am
Alone, left in the cold, I remain
A cell built by my thoughts
(The walls became glass, dirty, and mean…)
{We have planned too many things, unfortunately}
{Have I ever tried to be on my own?}
{Losing time. We don’t realize our existence}
{Together, nothing can go wrong}
- You don’t need anyone.
I didn’t listen to any of your reasons
Now, I wish for that place where all the cold was erased…
[Simply all my ideas escaped
Too late to array them…
Now I’m experiencing the human ways in their entirety]
Upon my inner circle
Bring her back to me
For all eternity
[I’ll draw an image from the depths of this wound]
Bring her back to me…
For my life, the rest of it…
Never seen what’s been inside me
Just below my deep old mind
Digging sorrow and trading cries
Pulsating waves of suffering
Raise your stare upon my uncompleted reign
Do you feel the weight of their sins?
[Raise your soul upon my ceaseless world]
And pray for me to end this road
I didn’t realize what this essence became in my name
Right in the eye it came, a heinous act to her life
Another one… Frustration and lies, here to shine
If she never comes back, the renounce I’ve been trying to escape won’t let go of all of this pain
She’s fading, I’m waiting for a cure to my soul
She’s fading, I’m waiting for the sun to rise at dawn
Perfection, did we try to reach it once?
Our motivations were all based wrong
Perfection, did I try to reach it once?
My motivations were all based wrong
[Did I drown all her fate because of my endless monotony?]
Maybe it was all my fault… My fault
I could have accepted my fate… This cursed fate…
She’s fading… Slowly, I’ll cry for my binding
Stop
[Life in my hand, I did engross your vitality]
He got lost in his world
He searched for the meaning of happiness
And all that he found was her false sense of warmth…
Created by him. A replacement for that reduced, corrupted, and forgotten oasis…
The sun set and the stares looked into him
He killed her and hasn't even realized it yet
Right in her eyes, the rageous storm brought by the human mind
Join them! Join the carnage! Be part of it!
He lost the essence forever and you are all to blame…
(I’ve become what I hate the most, I have always been what I hate the most. I don’t deserve
anything good. End my lost essence and stop the damage upon their souls. I think it’s the best for
everyone, suddenly something seems to be a good thing for all of you).
I just had a dream where all of the essences fought me
I realized running through sands never ends
But sometimes I think her smile isn’t bad at all
After all, she survived, but I won’t be able to see her again… No, I won't and it seems right for me.
Now I’ll just wait. Thrown away, I am
I can’t win against the shadows of the bad things I’ve done in my life
Now I’ll wait in this cell… Built by my thoughts… [isn’t it?]
Now I’ll just wait for all things yet to come
Now I’ll just wait until I die by sorrow
Now I’ll just wait for the day that fate decides to put an end to my heinous acts.
And I have nothing more to say
I can’t blame them all.
"Judgment and truth, since someone has to take the blame."
“Inside his mind, when the world feels still, the child looks for her.”
She was the one who distanced herself from him, and now, even if he wanted to find her, he wouldn’t be able to — because perhaps he has killed her.
Out of sight, as a child I was really good at doing wrong.
“Upon opening the door back to the world, he fears for her fate.”
At the end of the section, he decides to go into his dreams to find answers, as he has done before.
Lately, this section has had a kind of rough impact on me. It’s the fear felt when you’re getting closer to a hard truth or event.
“Out of himself, a part of the truth is revealed to him.”
The first part of the dream.
The last thing this girl told me before removing me from her life was that I was very codependent. Perhaps part of my problem was that I never tried to live well with myself — I simply went from one obsession to another over the years. My focus was really fixated.
This section is heavily inspired by the sensations produced by LSD.
"Within himself, the truth becomes clearer. The blame must fall on someone. In desperation, he begs for her to return."
This is the moment when he begins to look at himself as the guilty.
"Hatred is redirected".
A voice speaks and dictates truth. This is the last stage of the dream.
I remembered something very bad I did when I was a child. What this girl had gone through was not so far from what I had done.
“The dream ends, the sun rises. She has survived, but the child will live a life of punishment until his very last moments.”
I truly reached a point where suicide was no longer an option, because it meant escaping the punishment I deserved. I devoted myself to inflicting suffering on myself. I no longer thought I deserved anything good, and being alone and empty forever felt like the right thing. I was a problem for the world — I had always been. I assumed I had no fix.
I still remember the day Supper’s Ready finally clicked for me. After hearing that specific line, the urge to compose something grand was born. I was fascinated by the idea of suffering being the engine of art.
In a way, I feel none of this would have been possible without this composition. It marked a 'before and after' in my life.